Hello again!

Here is another one of my reflections! :) 

Chapter 2: When Clients Die: Using Storytelling, Journaling, and Correspondence in Times of Loss

           

 The death of a client can be a very difficult process a counselor may endure. As a counselor, you establish a deep relationship with your client and allow them to share some of their darkest secrets and struggles. This creates a unique bond between the counselor and client. I think there is something so beautiful about two humans bearing their souls to each other and being able to help each other through this journey we call life. When a client passes away, this can be extremely painful for the counselor who may experience a range of emotions. This bond that you have been nurturing is suddenly gone. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to experience this as a counselor.

            I have experience working with children who are terminally ill. I have volunteered a children’s hospital for eight years and primarily worked with children diagnosed with cancer. I have found a deep passion working with these children. Many times friends or family members question why I love working with these very ill children. “That is so depressing!” they say. “How can you deal with that?” “How can you work with children who are dying?” I’ve heard all these many times. Yes I agree that at times it can be very heartbreaking to see a child suffer through chemotherapy, or suffer as they are getting a spinal tap. I can remember holding the hand of one very young child as she was undergoing a spinal tap, a very painful procedure. She held onto my hand so tightly and kept asking for more “Go-Go Juice” (what she called her pain medicine). It truly touched my heart and I became overwhelmed with empathy. Moments like this I treasure: having the privilege to be able to just be with someone, be truly present as they are enduring a difficult or painful situation.

I truly believe that I can make a difference with these children. Even if its just being a hand to hold or someone to play with to get their minds off of the pain and stress they are enduring. Despite these challenges, I still am drawn to this population. I do however have some concerns and fears. Although I have experience working with terminally ill children, I have never truly faced the really ugly parts that may occur. I have a glimpse of it, but never have seen a child die. I am concerned how I will deal with this if I have the opportunity and privilege to work with these children later in my career. I am a very emotional person. This can be both beneficial, and hinder me at times. It can be wonderful as I have a huge capacity for empathy for others, including strangers. However it can also be difficult as my emotions can sometimes get the best of me. This is something I am currently working on, learning to be self aware and control over my emotions. The chapter explained a Cherokee grandfather telling a story to his grandson. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves” (Scofield, 2005).  One wolf is the bad wolf, full of anger, sorrow, regret, guilt, lies, and hurt. The other wolf is beautiful and good, full of goodness, joy, kindness, empathy, and love. When the grandson asked which wolf will win, the grandfather explained that it is the wolf that you feed. This story resonated with me in several ways. I know I will experience a variety of emotions working with clients. Some may be good, and others may be very painful and difficult. In order to not allow the painful emotions take over, I will strive to “feed” the good emotions. I will focus on the good that I am hoping to achieve with my clients and the positive impact that I am having on my clients’ lives. 

Saying Goodbye: Pet Loss and Its Implications

Hello there :)
I had to write a reflection on this topic for one of my classes and decided to share this with you:

Saying Goodbye: Pet Loss and Its Implications

           

                    Pets can come in a variety of forms. The one thing in common with all these animals is their profound companionship and love they can give to pet owners. Pets offer a special unconditional love that so many people are longing for. The death of a pet can be absolutely devastating. Often times, a pet becomes part of the family. When a pet passes away, family members can experience incredible grief and a sense of loss.          
I have had my fair share of pets throughout the years. I had a Labrador when I was very little. Unfortunately my parents had to give her away. I was so young that I did not understand, but I remember feeling a sense of loss.  Years later we had a cat named Sammy. I was still young, but I remember how sweet he was. He was such a loving kitty and my sister and I adored him. One day we came home and discovered he escaped. We never saw him again. I can remember how heartbreaking this was, even as a young girl. I would go out into my neighborhood searching for Sammy. I remember the fear and pain I experienced knowing there were coyotes and other menacing animals outside that could hurt Sammy. But I never found him. Writing this now, makes me teary eyed. Even though it has been about fourteen or fifteen years since this happened. To me this really demonstrates how great of an impact pets can have on people’s lives. After Sammy we had two kittens, who my parents gave away before my sister and I got too attached. After those two, we adopted our poodle Molly. My beloved Molly. I can remember the day we picked her out. I had such a special relationship with Molly Mae. I grew up with Molly, taking care of her, learning responsibility and in return getting such a great companionship. Molly was always there for me. She was always so excited to see me and brightened my day whenever I was having a bad day. She was the epitome of unconditional love and loyalty. The two of us had a special bond all through elementary, middle, high school, and through the first two years of college. I missed her so much when I was away for college and was equally excited to see her when I came home for the holidays. The end of my sophomore year was a very low point for me. I was going through an incredibly painful breakup that summer and Molly began to get sick. In one week she declined tremendously and passed away. Having these two losses was extremely difficult for me. I felt enormous loss when Molly passed away. I was utterly devastated. I did not want to risk allowing myself to love again. (In both aspects, from my relationship and losing my beloved pet) To this day that was one of the darkest few months of my life as I tried to deal with these losses.           I am relieved and proud to say that I have processed these losses and can look back on them now and see myself as a much stronger person. To this day I still miss Molly, but I can smile at all the great memories we had together. I feel like this perspective can be beautiful and beneficial for people who experience loss; through the death of a loved one, or something else. It is so helpful to be able to look back fondly on the memories you created and being thankful for the opportunity to have them.  One year ago (to this week) I moved to San Antonio for graduate school, not knowing a single person. It was an incredible change for me and was lonely and difficult at many times. I decided to adopt a pet. I adopted a sweet kitty named Harley and he quickly filled the void in my heart and helped me adjust to this new chapter in my life.  Pets may come in a variety of forms, but the love and companionship they offer to us can leave a lasting impact on our hearts and minds, long after they pass.