Hello again!

Here is another one of my reflections! :) 

Chapter 2: When Clients Die: Using Storytelling, Journaling, and Correspondence in Times of Loss

           

 The death of a client can be a very difficult process a counselor may endure. As a counselor, you establish a deep relationship with your client and allow them to share some of their darkest secrets and struggles. This creates a unique bond between the counselor and client. I think there is something so beautiful about two humans bearing their souls to each other and being able to help each other through this journey we call life. When a client passes away, this can be extremely painful for the counselor who may experience a range of emotions. This bond that you have been nurturing is suddenly gone. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to experience this as a counselor.

            I have experience working with children who are terminally ill. I have volunteered a children’s hospital for eight years and primarily worked with children diagnosed with cancer. I have found a deep passion working with these children. Many times friends or family members question why I love working with these very ill children. “That is so depressing!” they say. “How can you deal with that?” “How can you work with children who are dying?” I’ve heard all these many times. Yes I agree that at times it can be very heartbreaking to see a child suffer through chemotherapy, or suffer as they are getting a spinal tap. I can remember holding the hand of one very young child as she was undergoing a spinal tap, a very painful procedure. She held onto my hand so tightly and kept asking for more “Go-Go Juice” (what she called her pain medicine). It truly touched my heart and I became overwhelmed with empathy. Moments like this I treasure: having the privilege to be able to just be with someone, be truly present as they are enduring a difficult or painful situation.

I truly believe that I can make a difference with these children. Even if its just being a hand to hold or someone to play with to get their minds off of the pain and stress they are enduring. Despite these challenges, I still am drawn to this population. I do however have some concerns and fears. Although I have experience working with terminally ill children, I have never truly faced the really ugly parts that may occur. I have a glimpse of it, but never have seen a child die. I am concerned how I will deal with this if I have the opportunity and privilege to work with these children later in my career. I am a very emotional person. This can be both beneficial, and hinder me at times. It can be wonderful as I have a huge capacity for empathy for others, including strangers. However it can also be difficult as my emotions can sometimes get the best of me. This is something I am currently working on, learning to be self aware and control over my emotions. The chapter explained a Cherokee grandfather telling a story to his grandson. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves” (Scofield, 2005).  One wolf is the bad wolf, full of anger, sorrow, regret, guilt, lies, and hurt. The other wolf is beautiful and good, full of goodness, joy, kindness, empathy, and love. When the grandson asked which wolf will win, the grandfather explained that it is the wolf that you feed. This story resonated with me in several ways. I know I will experience a variety of emotions working with clients. Some may be good, and others may be very painful and difficult. In order to not allow the painful emotions take over, I will strive to “feed” the good emotions. I will focus on the good that I am hoping to achieve with my clients and the positive impact that I am having on my clients’ lives.